God as Father?

When we refer to “God the Father” just what do we mean? More importantly, what do we imply that we don’t necessarily mean, but communicate anyway? I grew up without a father. Most of my friends grew up without fathers, and those whose fathers were around might have been better off were they not. Viewed in this light, I’m not sure I want God to be a father. Painful as it is to admit, fathers have a pretty bad track record in my experience.

As a father myself, I wonder about the role and importance of my presence in my daughters’ lives. Am I embodying safe, strong, responsible, compassionate masculinity? Am I striking a healthy balance between loving and supporting them on the one hand, and empowering them to venture out on their own and see what they’re capable of on the other?

I hear a lot of talk in academic circles about the sacred feminine but nothing at all about the equal opposite. The idea seems to be that there is something quasi-divine about the life giving and intuitive aspects of the female experience. I believe this to be true. But what about the masculine? What about the sacred duty to provide care and protection for our family and friends? What about the powerful, creative drive to take on the world on behalf of those we love and to provide for them? And where are these traits in the Father God? I’ve found Him strangely silent.

“Toxic” masculinity has been implicated in everything from hypersexuality and aggression to environmental destruction and “rape culture” and I don’t deny that there are men out there who are stereotypically masculine and very toxic. But is it the masculinity that is toxic or the men themselves? Who is more masculine, the armed robber or the cop who chases him down and gets him off of the streets? The man who is so superficially charming that he can, and does, sleep with any woman he wants or the one who commits to his family and raises his kids? Does it make me more of a man to answer the slightest insult with violence or to ignore the distraction of those who don’t impact my life’s trajectory and stay focused on what’s really important to me?

If masculinity is the archetypally male traits that are present across the majority of races and cultures throughout time, then the simple answer is to look at what most healthy, productive men have done across cultures and time, and identify patterns.

Do men abuse women and children, get in bar fights, wage war? Yes. Do most men? No. Most men provide dutifully for their families, care for their children the best they can, spend time with their friends, and enjoy time in quiet, working on productive tangible projects. They are the first to investigate when things go bump in the night and the last ones on the life boats when the ship is sinking.

The power of men comes from quiet, consistent, humble sacrifice for the good of the group. This sacrifice is why men form armies, not because we are inherently violent, but because we are willing to sacrifice our lives for our principles and our loved ones. We form governments because we are willing to work with total strangers to achieve shared goals. The power of true masculinity is the ability to embody this sacrificial spirit, take action to achieve goals without requiring praise, and leave the world a little better as the result.

It is Odin sacrificing his eye for the gift of spiritual sight. It is Christ giving his life for the salvation of mankind. It is farmers toiling the land to put food on the table, miners going underground to earn enough to pay the mortgage, and soldiers running towards gunfire while everyone else runs away.

In all of this action there is no room for emotion. Men have not had the privilege of being protected. We are the protectors and when lives are on the line, feelings don’t matter, only actions.

Whether you believe in God the father or not, I don’t care. What I do care about is the principle of sacred masculinity, its embodiment in modern men, and the positive, powerful effect those men can have on the lives and society around them.